dear jon,

this afternoon you called me. i still have no clue why although i waited on the line for several minutes for you to inform me. i am guessing that you missed me, you wanted to hear my voice. i mean, who calls someone else and does not say hello, just starts talking random sh!t, why, me, of course and, now, you.

but, i don't know why you started pointing out all the lovely woman walking past you. why you pointed out what underwear they were wearing. why? were you trying to make me jealous? is this your way of telling me you have moved on? is this your way of saying, "look, i can have them if i wanted to?" was this your way of getting back at me for saying that my body was sore from too much fucking [and obviously not you?] you took such a long pause before i could bubble out "i am just joking" that i thought your heart stopped. i commend you for making a joke out of it. nice try.

what was that all about jonathan? je ne sais pas. but i will tell you that as soon as i heard your voice my heart started racing and i was hoping for someone to call me. please, someone call me on the other line, please, cell phone, please ring right now. please, give me an excuse to get off the phone with this man.

you can act so dumb and it is times like these [or when i remember how selfish and immature you really are] that i admonish myself for ever falling for you. how that happened puzzles me.

dear jon, please don't return your own call.