dear jon,

i want to leave you a message, i want to write it down and send it to you, so that you can keep it forever, if that is what you wish. i want to tell you off so bad, because you are being pig-headed with me, but i am too nice for that and, what's more, i love you and, my love for you will not let me do that.

why do you do this to me? you have to know i was joking. have to. on with it,

jon,
thank you for being an asshole to me, because in doing so, you re-inforce the idea that i have planted in my head ever since the day you told me whatever BS you did when we "ended." i say BS, because i swear that the reason seems to change ever so slightly and, i still am confused as to the whole "breakup." i use quotation marks because some things are still "normal" between us and it does not seem like we broke up, but oh well, back to my point.

thank you for being an asshole to me because you remind me why i knew this would never work. you remind me that i'm too kind, caring and gentle to be with someone who overlooks these qualities. you remind me of why you are the little boy that you are.

you remind me of how you can not seem to settle down. you remind me of how inconsiderate you are of the fact that you broke my heart, due to the liberties you took, of "deciding" for "us."

there is nothing wrong with a little love, i can not fathom why you have to run away. i guess you figure you'll never end up all alone.

does your heart not feel anything? i could of sworn i had it jumping. now, it is as if you hold back, emotionally you are empty and claim that you are not ready, but instead of holding back, i suggest you let yourself go and see what you are missing.

why do you want to go on this way? you do not seem to ever want to change your ways, all you have to do is decide to give love a chance, you might find out that there is some goodness inside romance.

you should put aside your pride before it is too late, i might fade away. be strong, hold on, to this love.

--with help from omar's lyrics of "little boy."